Screencaps, you are my hellacious cyst. But since you guys enjoyed the first round, I decided to bring it back for a second spin.
1. Single Parents are Korea’s Dating Goldmine
What’s sexier than a dead mother? Something about this equates to a hardship that makes a woman humble and naïve, as if she were raised by a school of puppies. Personally I would think there’d be more of a proclivity to become a complete jerk, but I also watch a lot of Teen Mom. (I swear I’m an adult…)
Now two kids with single parents? That’s star-crossed Shakespearean porno right there.
A pair of large sunglasses, a wig and whoooaaa, invisibility cloak!
Though a tip: Girl, your hair color will never match the synthetic hair so put that wig cap on or you be lookin’ a damn fool.
3. Ally McBeal Syndrome*
These girls not only forget to eat but they basically sprain their ankle just making a cup of coffee. And then they yell at everyone else for their inability to function. Like infant amputees but with less swollen pouty lips. Girl power!
* Jon Bon Jovi not included
4. There are 3 high-pitched girls that hang around each other all the time like conjoined mutants sharing a brain
The middle girl at least has a bow or headband to make the head count easier.
There’s the evil triplets who scheme against the main character and the three backup maidens as her defense when she’s secretly hanging out with her main squeeze and needs an alibi.
5. Love and Baking Don’t Go Together
Even though making a meal or chocolates for a guy you like is a tradition, it also seems a tradition to screw it up and then the guy has to take over and fix it. Are salt and sugar really that hard to separate? Frankly you’re lucky you can walk by yourself without dying (then again…)
6. Location, Location, Location
In order to be passionately in love, they’ve gotta be within sight at all times. Whether you’re moving into their house, next door or conveniently work at the same place, you need to pick a paramour who can save you the bus ticket.
7. White people are the rare, exotic desk lamps of Korea
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
As a racially homogenous nation, it makes seeing boring ‘ol Euro-dominating white people like a Where’s Waldo treasure trove. Although they do exist, I wouldn’t want them getting major roles all that much. It’s the search that makes it fun and less ethnic backlash implications for accidental stereotypes.
Though girls who can easily masquerade as boys, that is a whole ‘nother pie.
8. Spousal abuse is not okay… unless it’s funny
Girls as slaves after losing a bet, guys getting roundhouse kicked in the face for being snarky, if it works, just break it. Luckily it operates equally for either gender, but it is slightly funnier when a girl is doing the hitting because she squeals like piglet trying to break open a pinata.
9. Are those guys…. together?
It’s not exactly bromance, but two guys that whenever you see them are always together wearing an earring or have a certain curling iron flair and have no lady friends.
Partners? Roommates? Batman and Robin?
10. Beaches = drowning, sexy times and watermelon
Are they ALWAYS going to the beach? Like they need to be secluded on a Lost-style island in order to get anyone together. And the main girl is always wearing more layers there than she is at school so it’s not about showing off her body, it’s about showing how well she can sink like a human paper weight. Baywatch bikinis are out, almost dying aquatically is in.
11. Mom! Dad! Are we… related?
Holy Marmalade Boy! Apparently the world is pretty small and kids these days are often caught in an accidental relationship with their future step siblings or someone who’s dad mac’d it with their mom in the Iron Maiden days. Seriously, you’d think all the parents go on the same cruise playing spin the bottle and doing jello shots off the lifeboats.
- The United States is a barrier for relationships (or turns a boy into a man); it’s the puberty of traveling locals
- Sex is a blur of kissing in fully clothed pajamas and waking up two days later. It’s like a college party only less vomiting and regret!
- In a flashback, just add a big bow in her hair and she’s 15 not 40. Just put some bangs in his face, wrinkles, where?!
- Exams are ways to get dates or compete for dates. Grades are useless otherwise.
- Life ends with a sunset, a Mandy Moore song, or a huge jump 12 years in the future even though everyone looks exactly the same.
- All teen girls start off with skirts and sneakers, then they have Rebecca Minkoff clutches and walk-of-shame pumps.
- Why is it every time I turn around, I see him and there’s an electric guitar playing??